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Non Violent Resistance

What is NVR?

We specialise in a variety of parenting approaches one of which is NVR. NVR has an extensive evidence base for supporting parents/carers with challenging behaviour in children and young people. Evidence showed that NVR reduced parents/carers feelings of helplessness, increased their confidence and improved their mental health. 

NVR is different from many parenting approaches.  Many of us are used to types of responses involving ideas of reward and consequence. These ideas can often work very well, but for some families something different is needed. NVR steps away from these ideas and instead focuses on the parent/carer's responses to their children to achieve change rather than directly seeking to change the child/young person. The outcomes do not depend on the engagement of the child/young person themselves. 

 

NVR focuses on supporting parents/carers with children who are aged between 7-18 years old. The approach supports parents/carers to develop tools and techniques to care for children/young people who display challenging attitudes and behaviours. These may include controlling behaviours such as physical and/or verbal violence or aggression, anxiety and self-harm. There is also evidence that highlights NVR can work well with young people with a Neurodevelopment diagnosis. 

 

During the NVR group parents/carers are guided through the core principles which offer ideas of carefully planned actions and ways to increase connection. As parents/carers gain greater confidence in their ability to manage their own reactions, this enables difficult issues to be addressed more effectively through a process of increasing parental presence. As parental presence grows, so do moments of connection that rebuild the loving parent-child relationship.

The Origins of NVR

The origins of NVR draw inspiration from the civil rights movement that sought to bring about social change in a non-violent manner. The NVR parenting approach was first developed by Haim Omer in 2004 while working with parents in Tel Aviv, Israel with children who had challenging behaviour. The approach was born out of helping parents to increase their “parental presence” and to remain connected. The NVR approach has gained further research and been developed in the UK by Peter Jacob who developed Partnership Projects.

 

If you are interested in learning more about NVR a link that we find useful is NVR - Haim Omer explains non-violent resistance (40 min) - YouTube

NVR has been utilised as a parent approach successfully in many countries and in the UK by Local Authorities and within different NHS Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

It was during our time working in CAMHS and Local Authorities that we found our passion for NVR.  We have each been trained by Peter Jacobs and Partnership Project who are the UK accredited provider of NVR Training and supervision. NVR has shaped each of us in different ways, from reflecting on our own actions and considering how we are only ever in control of ourselves, to identifying different small acts of resistance, which we can practice when times are difficult.

In our considerable experience of offering NVR to parents/carers some of the benefits they have told us about is;

 

  • It gives hope

  • It can repair relationships

  • NVR can be used for many different behaviours

  • It can reduce the impact of trauma

  • It can reduce the impact of mental ill health on the family

  • It can empower parents/carers

  • It can be proactive and preventative

  • Parental presence reduces professional presence

  • Strengthens any relationships

Image by Ronak Valobobhai

Some Key principles covered in the NVR approach include: 

 

  • De-escalation

  • Parental Presence

  • Parental Self care

  • Prioritising Behaviours

  • Support Networks and siblings

  • Emotional Intelligence and regulation

  • Unmet Needs and Reconciliation Gestures

  • Announcement and Self Announcement

  • Sit-Ins

  • Campaign of concern

  • Re-cap, celebration of achievements, and plan for the future

 

NVR doesn’t have to be just a set of techniques; it can become a way of life. It is not about passivity, giving in or ignoring behaviour. It is about rebuilding relationships with children regardless of the child’s behaviour.

Mother and Daughter Love

Strike while the iron is cold

Sessions are typically for one hour and weekly initially where possible, however this will be agreed together based on your needs as a family.  The amount of sessions required will depend on the individual needs of your family however on average the intervention should be planned for 3 months. 

Session fee is £60-£80.

 

As part of our mission to be accessible to as many families as possible we are offering a reduced rate scheme. Reduced rates are available to families who are currently claiming Universal credit more information in FAQ section.

 

 For more information about sessions please see the frequently asked questions page. Please note there is a 48 hour cancellation period required otherwise full fee will apply once a session has been agreed.

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